Job search hell…..some coping strategies

Compiled by Susan McNulty, Consulting Psychologist and Peter E Pick, CEO, Nine Lives Consulting.  

 

Job searching is a stressful activity beset with setbacks and personal doubt, anxiety and poor communications. Not many people report that they enjoy the experience.

Sources of anxiety and disappointment include:

• Lack of confidence due to lack of clarity about what you offer and appropriate targets.
• Lack of knowledge about the recruiting processes.
• Poor preparation leading to confusion and poor targeting and hence poor interview performance.
• Poor communication from recruiters
• Rejection or no consideration for roles you which you thought you were a good match.
• Lack of advertised opportunities.
• Lack of appropriate pay in advertised roles.
• Lack of comprehensive Position Description.

 

When one role concludes and there is no other role in hand, you enter a period of great ambiguity and uncertainty. I knew what I was but don’t know what I will be….

The William Bridges diagram below encapsulates the emotional roller- coaster that one endures in navigating the various job search channels, maintaining positivity and constantly providing the momentum and initiative.

Managing Change: New Beginning Phase

Early stages are characterized by fear and pessimism, anxiety and uncertainty, but as you develop a plan and are more confident about your Personal Value Proposition, and you experience more positive responses in the marketplace, the anxiety eases and you become more confident about your control of your destiny.

If the job search has been triggered by a dismissal or retrenchment from a previous role, then these emotions are amplified as you are also progressing through the grieving curve caused by the separation and loss of the previous role.

This process is famously described by Kubler-Ross in the diagram below….

Consequently, most people are ill-prepared to navigate the negative onslaught of these emotions and lack the practical tactics of looking for a new role.

What are the tactics that support an effective job search process? These can be divided into two types;

• Practical and physical tactics and documents
• Emotional management

1. Practical issues relate to;
   1. 1. YOU:

• • • what is your offer, what do you do well?
    • what is your most suitable work environment?
    • what is the most suitable style of work?
    • what are your aspirations.

A good role, one in which you can thrive, requires three key features to be aligned with your employer, partner or clients. These are illustrated in the VRF© diagram below.

Values:          Your values must match those displayed by the employer, not those claimed by the employer. Otherwise, you cannot maintain commitment.

Role:              Your suitability for the role must be supported by:

• • • Your “commercial offer” or Personal Value Proposition; evidenced by your track record embodied in your resume and interview responses.
    • Your aspirations: the next role should serve an identified purpose for you.
    • Your style: you must be suited to the type of role and work environment.

Fit:                  The nature and style of the key people in your immediate workspace and reporting chain must be compatible with your personality, otherwise success is unlikely.

• Target Roles. Clarity about your target roles. This is based on your interests, aptitudes, track record, qualifications, and longer-term plans. Don’t waste effort on unrealistic opportunities, it only results in rejection and feeling dispirited.
• Your offer. Clarity about your Personal Value Proposition. This ensures that you target suitable roles and deliver credible applications.
• Search techniques. Understand the various job search channels and how to navigate these.
• Advertised roles in recruiters’ websites.
• Advertised roles on Organisations’ websites.
• Networking and invitations from the network. Identify your network; it consists of former colleagues, social contacts, suppliers and professional advisors, clients and service providers, alumni from education and training, industry associations and seminars. Seek their guidance and market knowledge. Don’t ask them for a job. Convey your personal value proposition in the process and you become top-of-mind when they see an opportunity.
• Direct approaches. Compile an engaging and succinct offer to an organisation that needs your skills. Usually approach the CEO in the first instance.
• Resume(s) Focused on your target Position Description, succinct, articulating your skills, experience, context and outcomes using the prospective employer’s jargon and priorities.
• Application letters. Articulate why you are the best to perform role and why you are interested.
• Fit to Criteria responses. Maximum of 250 words describing facts and outcomes for each criterion.
• Interviews.
• Avoid generalisations and cliches, convey relevant stories that are evidence of your claims.
• Follow up each meeting with confirmation of your interest and reasons why you’re a good candidate.
• Private life balance. Managing your time and balancing your life. Attend to the family and your social life and private interests. Maintain your health and fitness. No one will hire an unkempt, unfit, desperate looking person.

Emotional Management

Your emotional state is fundamental to your welfare and success in landing a new role and making a good start in the new organisation. You need to be in a balanced and confident frame of mind to manage the stress of searching and conducting interviews, maintaining calm and being rational in your decisions.

For these issues, we provide the thoughts of a highly regarded Trauma Consulting Psychologist, Susan McNulty. Susan has been specialising in trauma counselling in a career spanning Police, Gambling and Outplacement services.

Susan offers the following advice on how to help manage yourself psychologically through a job search….

Firstly, let’s get the basics out of the way – if you are experiencing a period of stress, there are a number of no brainers in helping manage the physical things your body is experiencing, which in turn will help you feel more relaxed:

1. PRAGMATIC and practical issues

• Exercise Daily – 30 minutes minimum of brisk exercise (you need to get your heart rate up)
• Eat well, avoid highly processed food.
• Resist the urge to self-medicate with alcohol – research has shown alcohol consumption to have a deleterious impact on wellbeing and will be counterproductive to what you are trying to achieve.
• Find some relaxation techniques that work for you; deep breathing is a simple one,

use these techniques when;

• you feel short of breath,
  • have trouble getting negative thoughts out of your head,
  • you have difficulty sleeping (either getting to sleep or waking up and being unable to return to sleep),
  • you know you are going into a situation that causes you some stress (eg prior to an interview).
• There are Apps on the internet that may be of assistance with Sleep issues, Calming and Worry, Stress coping strategies and Self-Hypnosis.

2. CONTROL

Perceived loss of control can have a significant impact regarding your stress levels, so try to:

• Identify exactly what you can control and what you can’t control.
• Try to spend your time and energy on things you can control (such as review your resume, research the job market, exercise and so on)
• Where you feel you have no control (such as how many relevant jobs are advertised) acknowledge and identify those things and try to avoid thinking about them. It may be that you need to develop some awareness of when you are doing that and intervene. Explore other Job channels such as direct approach, networking, industry and professional organisations and company websites.

3. UNDERSTAND YOURSELF

Understanding yourself and what you need in your life to feel happy, satisfied and relaxed is often elusive for many people – we aren’t used to spending time thinking about ourselves with any depth.

So… ask yourself questions like:

• Do I like structure and order?
• Am I goal directed and motivated to tick things off?
• Are you able to relax if you have unfinished business in your life somewhere?
• Do you enjoy being highly visible in a role/organisation?
• Do you prefer a behind the scenes role?
• Are you highly sociable and need to chat with people?
• Do you enjoy solitude?
• Are you self-disciplined and a rule follower?
• Do you usually follow through with obligations?
• Do you generally feel satisfied with yourself and your situation – and has this changed recently?
• Do you like achieving goals through systematic and organized methods.
• Do you prefer stability and predictability over change?
• Do you find change generally stressful or stimulating?
• Do you have difficulty finishing things?
• Is important for you to always be seen in a positive light.
• How do you like to have your time managed – operate with a schedule and a timetable vs free flowing day
• Would you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?

The answers to some of these questions could help you frame your time through your job search, and ensure you have the elements present that will bring you peace; for example, find time to catch up with people, balance job search activities with pleasurable ones, structure your days so that at the end of each day you can feel a sense of achievement.

4. CONTAINMENT (identify critical issues).

Sometimes we can get overwhelmed and feel confused about what exactly the issues are and end up feeling that everything is stressful.

It can help to clearly identify the most stressful issues, so, identify the repetitive thoughts and fears your mind runs through in the middle of the night.

For example;

• prospect of unemployment
• self- doubt and lack of confidence in starting a new role.
• making mistakes
• how many resumes are in, how many relevant jobs are advertised.

Once you have an idea of what it is about the process that is creating stress for you, you can start to work on a plan of gaining greater knowledge and understanding to target those things where you are able and let go of those outside your control.

Containing your worries to specific issues can help you identify the things that may be more positive and give you a more balanced view of what you are going through.

5. GET HELP.

Finally, if you feel you are not managing or continue to feel overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to seek short term support through a psychologist or counsellor to help you achieve your psychological goals.

This will fast track your efforts at achieving some peace through the process and will alleviate the need to seek help through family and friends – which may not always be easy or lead to a positive outcome.

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE VALUE AND PEACE OF MIND YOU CAN DERIVE FROM EXTERNAL, INDEPENDENT AND CONSCIENTIOUS PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT.

 

The information provided in this article is of a general nature only and not intended to be advice.